They stalk you.
They actually meet up at there Jehovah bat caves and pick a day where they will ALL walk around and knock on doors. So, they walk the earth to knock on every door(I've noticed that they like to come out on summer days), and if you dare to open that door, because you didn't peek out of your side window to see who it was first, then you just entered phase one of the Jehovah trap.
Explaining Phase one:
Phase one is when you open your door and before it is even open all the way, you know that you made a mistake. A horrible, horrible, mistake. Then they flash you a smile and say who they are.
Phase two:
That is when you haven't let them in yet and they are standing on your front porch, or stoop talking about Jesus. Or they ask you if you believe in god, but sometimes they don't even ask...they just assume. Shame on you,Jehovies!
PHASE Three(aka Code RED):
Phase three is when they reach into their purses(or man bag) and pull of that little, cheap-o Jehovah's Witness zine. You know, that like zine that is almost a full size magazine, but not really....it smells like old newspaper. Once they get that little crusty zine out, you need to figure out a way to abort the conversation. Because once it is out and right before they hand it to you they ask "May I come in?" Which in most cases, people make up some lie. "I'm actually heading out" or "I'm so busy right now, the house is a mess" or "I worship satan?"
Even though they know you are lying, they give you the magazine and then harass your neighbor. Even after they leave and you can't see them. I wouldn't recommend leaving the house until 2-3 hours later......
But some people let them in and then they have to listen to an hour and a half long conversation about giving up holidays and how they think wearing crosses is wrong. But that's not all. When getting ready to leave, they will tell you that they are coming back every Tuesday at 3' or something like that, expect them to keep that promise.
For most of us though, we might spot them from the corner of our eye and shut off the Tv and run upstairs and then sit in silence until they are done banging on your door, twenty minutes later(that is harder if you have kids). I've gone so far as to laying on the floor downstairs, so when the look into the windows(which they do sometimes), they won't see me.
As I was saying before. I don't like the process it takes to avoid conversations with Jehovies. I don't like them coming to my house and knocking on the door forever. I don't like them pushing their Anti-holiday ways on me either. They just kind of annoy the hell out of me. Every time they have their "Jehovah Day", it reminds slightly, of a zombie infestation. (Movie Idea? Jezombies?)
Did I just post a Jehovah survival guide?
